Directed by Michael Bay
Written by Caspian Tredwell-Owen, Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci
Story by Caspian Tredwell-Owen
Based on the Film The Clonus Horror Directed by Robert S. Fiveson
Produced by Michael Bay, Ian Bryce, Laurie MacDonald and Walter F. Parkes
Music by Steve Jablonsky
Cinematography by Mauro Fiore
Edited by Paul Rubell and Christian Wagner
Production Design by Nigel Phelps
Costumes by Deborah L. Scott
Visual Effects Supervisor: Eric Brevig

Cast
Ewan McGregor (Lincoln Six Echo/Tom Lincoln)
Scarlett Johansson (Jordan Two Delta/Sara Jordan)
Djimon Hounsou (Albert Laurent)
Sean Bean (Merrick)
Steve Buscemi (McCord)
Michael Clarke Duncan (Starkweather)
Ethan Phillips (Jones Three Echo)

Many of the reviews for Michael Bay’s new science-fiction actioner, The Island, have noted its similarity to the films THX-1138, Coma, Logan’s Run, and The Matrix. Although The Island stands guilty on all counts of borrowing liberally from these earlier movies, especially the 1976 cult non-classic Logan’s Run, it is really a near-exact remake—uncredited and certainly unpaid—of the 1979 low-budget thriller The Clonus Horror, directed by Robert S. Fiveson. (Read a synopsis and analysis of the original film and comments on its similarity to The Island.) Sometimes known as Parts: The Clonus Horror (and on the new DVD simply Clonus), the film has continued visibility today because of its appearance on the classic science-fiction comedy program, Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Regardless of the questionable legality of Bay’s remake (and I’m sure Fiveson has already started filing a lawsuit), The Clonus Horror is the type of film that actually deserves a modern make-over. It has an excellent science-fiction concept but none of the budget or acting talent to do it justice. Unfortunately, Michael Bay is the last director on earth who should try to “do justice to a science-fiction concept.” Since he started his filmmaking career with the amiable mid-budget Bad Boys, he has turned into the poster child of everything wrong with the American blockbuster mentality: overloaded action sequences, dismal characterization, macho posturing, insipid one-liner scripts, and relentless visual assaults…all without an ounce of intelligence. The Rock and Armageddon solidified this reputation, and Bad Boys II managed to push the envelope of idiocy and irresponsible violence to the level of the purely offensive. In between all this, Bay tried to make his own version of Titantic, called Pearl Harbor, but it had the depth of a cheap Hallmark card, and actually made people long for him to get back to mindlessly detonating things instead of hoping to turn into Steven Spielberg or Stanley Kubrick.

Although no one would mistake The Island for a good movie, sad to say it ranks as one of Michael Bay’s better efforts. The first forty minutes at least contain some intelligence in the handling of Lincoln Six Echo (Ewan McGregor), a member of a mysterious controlled community isolated from the rest of a supposedly bio-contaminated world, as he gradually tries to discover the truth of his world. The other child-like residents of this secured underground commune never question the strict rules under which they live, but dreams and unbidden doubts have started to torment Lincoln. In particular, he wants to know the secret of the ‘lottery’ that releases people to an enigmatic paradise known as “The Island.” (In The Clonus Horror, the residents of the colony were released to a place called “America,” a nice bit of 1970s anti-establishment thumb-nosing.) These early scenes borrow extensively from other dystopian movies (the influence of Logan’s Run appears most strongly here)

and have a good, sterile visual style and a decent level of mystery. The dialogue and attempts at humor have the usual forced Michael Bay film feel to them, but The Island genuinely acts like it wants to be a serious science-fiction piece. A few sequences, such as a cold-blooded execution of a woman who has just given birth (the equivalent to the “deep-freeze” scene in The Clonus Horror), have a shivery effectiveness.

But after Lincoln Six Echo discovers the truth of “The Island” and makes his escape with the beautiful Jordan Two Delta (Scarlett Johansson), the movie shifts into chase-and-escape mode and stays there. The Machiavellian corporate villain Merrick (Sean Bean) sends out a squad of mercs (led by the dependable Djimon Housnou) to track down and kill the escaped ‘products’ before his whole illegal operation explodes in his face. None of the action sequences have any originality; even though they take place in 2019 Los Angeles, they still look like anything you would see in a contemporary cops n’ robbers movie—with a flying motorcycle or two thrown in among the ordinary cars and helicopters. One freeway chase borrows so extensively from Bay’s own Bad Boys II that he might have lifted the footage wholesale and digitally stuck Johansson and McGregor in it to save money. Some of the set-pieces stretch credibility so far that all trace of an intelligent science-fiction examination of the morality of cloning and the nature of identity goes completely out the shattered and exploding window. Nothing about these loud action pieces will stick in the mind of the viewers past the end credits; they simply fill up space and induce headaches. McGregor getting to play scenes with himself (one character with McGregor’s genuine Scottish accent, the other without)

Scarlett Johansson responds to the producers’
criticism of her performance

provides some interesting breaks among the dull chases, and Johansson, a fine actress who must be funding her bank account so she can act in Woody Allen and Sophia Coppolla movies, does bring a touch of tenderness to her part during the brief moments when the film gives her something more to do than run and jump around in tight outfits. (As a guy, I must shamefully admit that merely watching Johansson is the film’s guiltiest pleasure. Please notice the subject of all the photos in this review.)

The last twenty minutes dissolve into Bay’s usual rapid-cutting action without motivation. The messiness makes me wonder if Bay inserts a clause in the contract of all his editors that they must constantly be jacked up on speed while they work. The finale is where The Island departs the most from The Clonus Horror, which lacked the budget for a slam-bang conclusion, and had to think of a clever and downbeat way of ending the story. The Island, however, hasn’t the brains to do anything but a fast, pyrotechnics-heavy wrap-up, and it requires an unbelievable sudden switch of sides for one of the characters. Audiences may well have forgotten at this point what, exactly, the story was about in the first place. Oh yeah, it was about cloning. Well, in the end, The Island is exactly that: a clone of Bay’s other films, and a clone of The Clonus Horror. The latter might have worked, but not in conflict with the former.