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Directed by Andrew Douglas Written by Scott Kosar Based on the novel by Jay Anson and the screenplay by Sandor Stern Produced by Michael Bay, Andrew Form, and Brad Fuller Music by Steve Jablonsky Cinematography by Peter Lyons Collister Edited by Roger Barton and Christian Wagner Production Design by Jennifer Williams Cast Ryan Reynolds (George Lutz) Melissa George (Kathy Lutz) Philip Baker Hall (Father Callaway) Jesse James (Billy Lutz) Jimmy Bennett (Michael Lutz) Chloë Grace Moretz (Chelsea Lutz) Rachel Nichols (Lisa) Isabel Conner (Jodie DeFeo)

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I’m back from watching The Amityville Horror remake at the local AMC 14, where a sparse crowd set in semi-silence and watched the film unspool. The big typewritten letters BASED ON A TRUE STORY appear at the beginning, causing quite a snort from me. The original reports of the haunting from the Lutzes were hoaxes, Jay Anson’s “nonfiction” book was a hoax, the 1979 James Brolin and Margot Kidder movie was a hoax, and the this one continues the tradition, upping the ante of supernatural events even further to the point that no one will believe the story has any shred of truth to it. People might even believe that the murders of the DeFeo family never happened, but that part at least is true—even if the motivations that film claims for it aren’t. So it is possible the film will do some good and dismiss the story in the public’s mind.

Okay, okay, preamble over. How is the actual movie?

It is far superior to the 1979 movie and the novel, both of which are pretty dull and undramatic: they merely relate a series of slowly escalating supernatural occurrences without much connection to each other or the protagonists, until the characters just freak out and leave the house. Damn boring. The novel gave hints about George Lutz thinking he might kill his family, but didn’t go anywhere with it (probably because George Lutz hatched the story himself and didn’t want to look too much like an unstable lunatic). The first movie developed George into a more unpleasant individual with an obsession with chopping lumber who almost axes his family, but quite suddenly stops…and then the family just leaves the house.

The new movie, apparently ditching the whole ‘true story’ nonsense despite the advertising claims (I’m sure the filmmakers know the whole thing is hooey), use the first movie as starting point, copying a number of scenes directly and using the ‘George goes after his family’ bit, but fashions a more interesting dramatic structure. Where the book and the first film pretty much ignored Kathy Lutz’s three children, barely even acknowledging their existence, this film makes them major players and exploits the recent death of the real father and their uneasy relationship with their stepfather. The oldest son, Billy, gets the best treatment on screen, and actor Jesse James (what a great name!) delivers the film’s most believable performance. The kid has tons of talent. The antagonisms in the film are blown up to screaming levels, but this does help a lot with a story that doesn’t have many places it can go. Without the character tensions, you’ve really just have a bunch of people sitting in a house they are too stupid to realize is demonically possessed.

The film opens with a duplication of the first scene of the old movie, showing Ronald DeFeo killing his family. Apparently the TV test pattern told him to do it, repeating the words “Ketch ‘em, Kill ‘em” to him. This isn’t exactly a novel idea: basically, a collision between Poltergeist, The Shining, and Helter Skelter. The continuous repetition of the words “Ketch ‘em, Kill ‘em,” a new invention by the filmmakers for the story, is so Charles Manson that it’s hard to think about anything else but Helter Skelter. Nonetheless, DeFeo’s shooting of his family works quite well. Bizarrely, one of the DeFeo children, the youngest daughter, is named Jodie. Not true. This change is part of the film’s attempt to draw together a cleaner narrative where things tie together.

To remind everybody, Ronald ‘Butch’ DeFeo did not kill his family because of demonic possession. He killed his family because he was a cocaine and heroin fiend with mob debts who hated his father and wanted to collect on a $200,000 life insurance policy on the family. In the montage of fake news footage that follows the murder, obviouslynone of this gets mentioned, since that would kind of reveal the rest of the story as a complete lie.

The rest of the film’s short running time (under ninety minutes) contains a few scares and decent scenes, but the fast-editing and smash-cut effects are old hat horror gimmicks by now, and nothing truly scary happens. Even the jack-in-box scare tactics didn’t make me jump most of the time. The cinematography and visual tricks add little, and the newly designed house looks too large and elaborate. The filmmakers have put it on its own expansive grounds, when the real house sits close to the street and has neighboring houses right up next to it.

A completely fabricated back-story for the haunting develops from scattered ideas in the book and first movie, none of which have the slightest basis in fact. Apparently, preacher Jeremiah Ketchem (see, get it? Ketch’em?) built the foundations of the house in 1614 (not true), tortured Indians in the basement, then killed himself so his spirit would always remain there. The book mentioned Ketchem, saying he was buried on the grounds (no), and that the local Indians thought the ground on which the house stood had a curse on it (no information exists on that plot of land, the Indians mentioned in the book did not even live on Long Island). But this dose of White Man’s Guilt and Evil Demonic Preacher in the story gives the movie more character. The ‘Red Room’ of the novel and first movie has been expanded into a massive abattoir and prison where George encounters the spirit of Ketchem himself. It’s actually a well-done scene. But I couldn’t help thinking about the actual ‘red room,’ a small one-foot depression in the basement to allow access to the overhead plumbing. Wow, the story has really, really gotten out of control! From a plumbing access hatch to a massive dungeon and torture chamber!

The part of the priest, a fictional addition that started with the novel, has been mercifully reduced from the hammy role that Rod Steiger played (much to his own embarrassment). Philip Baker Hall as the priest only appears in three scenes, but his blessing of the house and his attack by flies are almost verbatim from the first movie. However, this scene has shifted from the early parts of the film to toward the end, where it makes more sense. After this, the priest just turns tail and gets the hell out of there, and that’s it for him. At least it spares us the endless scenes from the first movie of the priest ranting and raving and going blind, etc., which were crafted as a calculated attempt to imitate The Exorcist.

As I mentioned before, the part of ‘Jodie’ has changed from the pig-demon (snicker, snort) into a corpse-like wraith of one of the murdered DeFeos. This is both a good and bad change. On the good side, this new Jodie makes more sense in story terms and adds extra drama with her relationship with the youngest of the Lutzes and her longing for her dead father. It also leads to a tense scene where the little daughter walks across the roof of the house, teetering dangerously. (And man, that’s a tall house!) But…this new Jodie is so reminiscent of Samara from The Ring that she has no frightening effect. Couldn’t they have found a way to make this new Jodie at least look modestly creative?

The new film does bungle one scene the original got right. In fact, it’s one of only scenes in the original that works: the babysitter locked in the closest having a freak-out. In the 1979 film, the babysitter was a typically awkward young teen with braces, sort of like Kari from The Incredibles (“I can handle anything this baby can dish out.”) When lured into the closet and locked there, her panic seems genuine. The new film has turned the babysitter into a ludicrously hot and skimpily dressed stoner babe whom no parent in his or her sane mind would ask to baby-sit. Honestly, Rachel Nichols looks like she’s on her way to her other job as a stripper. Anyway, Jodie lures her into the closet and tries to scare the hell out of her, but it just doesn’t work. The film is just trying to work some skin into it to keep the teen boys in the audience happy.

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